Archive for October, 2009


Ok, I had a pretty bad week last week.  Nate Washington, a lock against Indy?  Not so much.  Did anyone see Mike Sims-Walker sitting out last week? (At least he got some!)  Or how about Derrick Mason laying a big, fat goose egg?  No and no.  And it’s not like this week’s predictions (guesses) are gonna be any easier.  And that’s what makes fantasy sports worth playing.  One week your Nostradamus, the next your Mel Kiper (Really, does anyone get paid MORE money to be wrong on a yearly basis?).  

So this week, as with all weeks, remember the picks here are relative to you and your team.  If you have a better option and you know it, ignore what I say.  Never sit a stud for a one week flyer!

Jets D-  The Bills offense laid an egg last week at home against an awful Browns team and this week they’re on the road against a blitz happy Jets squad.  I expect the Jets to post decent stats in sacks and passing yards allowed. 
Randy Moss-  The stretch run of tough defenses ends this week as the Patriots get the league’s 2nd worst unit against the pass.  Expect Moss to approach his projections and maybe even go above them. 
Kellen Winslow-  Winslow is the number one option for a terrible pass offense in a week where they play the number two pass defense.  I still like the inexperienced QB Johnson to look for him enough to make Winslow a must start.
Santana Moss-  He won’t approach the crazy numbers of Miles Austin from a week ago, but he is the ‘Skins number one receiver, which makes him a must play against the Chiefs.
Bernard Berrian-  He’s the team leader in targets and the way you defeat Baltimore is through the air. 

Broncos D-  San Diego’s offense has too much potential to start the Broncos D against them in San Diego on a Monday night.  Three legitimate big play threats in Gates, Jackson and Sproles are enough to scare me away from using the Broncos this week.
Joe Flacco-  Another one of my hunches.  Teams watch game tape of their opponent from the prior week.  And if the Vikings are as smart as I think they are then they saw what Cincy did to Flacco and will attempt to recreate it. 
Brian Westbrook-  Yes they have a great matchup against the putrid Raiders, but until he proves himself healthy, LeSean McCoy is going to steal enough of his chances to make Westbrook a risky start.
Derrick Ward/Cadillac Williams-  I think I’ll reserve one spot for the worst RB platoon each week.  Ward and Williams have looked some combination of awful, hurt, or incompetent each week since week 2.  Leave these guys on the bench until something gives.


Jermichael Finley- Of the two Packer tight ends Finley seems to be getting more of the big play, downfield chances, with Donald Lee relegated to a possession type receiver.  Against a bottom five passing D, FInley could sneak up on some folks.
Braylon Edwards-  Jericho Cotchery is still hurting and may not play, giving Edwards another chance to vulture some big play opportunities that otherwise wouldn’t have been his. 
Matt Hasselbeck-  Seattle plays well at home and this week they get an Arizona defense ranked last in passing YPG allowed.
Jeremy Maclin-  I don’t think there’s any doubt as to his ability, or to the fact that he has an excellent matchup against Oakland.  The only question is Kevin Curtis.  If Maclin has indeed taken Curtis’ reps then you want him as a must start this week.  Keep track all the way up until game time to make sure.

Derrick Anderson-  I have no stats to back this up, only a hunch.  The guy playing behind him is close to being run out of town.  He faces his team’s biggest rival, with absolutely no expectations of a victory, let alone a quality performance.  All this adds up to a dangerous man, one who’ll sling the ball like he’s Brett Favre in a Wrangler commercial.


Kia Hanna #91047
Release Date- 5-1-2010
“I’m a little bit country and a lot of rock-n-roll!  I’m vivacious, energetic, witty, yet lonely.  Transplanted from the lush Texas soil to the avid desert of Nevada.  I’m looking for that certain someone who can make me… BLOOM AGAIN!  Let’s 2-step together.  The sky’s the limit…unless you count the stars!”

    Ericka Hitchcock #X08362
Release Date- 11-4-2041

I’ve been incarcerated since the age of 17, and it has changed my entire outlook on life.  I’m seeking true friendship, companionship, and overall positivity.  I think a free and gentle spirit would best describe me.  Hopefully you are someone who wont judge me on my past, and instead embrace the young lady I really am inside.  I just want someone who is wiling to write and get to know me for me.  I love music and love to dance.  I enjoy sports and am very athletic, so I’m in pretty good shape.  I’m intrigued with intellectual topics, but at times I can be silly.  If I sound like someone you’d like as a new friend, write to me and I’ll be sure to respond.”  

Jasmine Moore-Grant #X-19798
Release Date- 11-3-2011 
“My name is Jasmine, as you already know, I’m 24.  I’m lonely and in search of a real man for friendship, companionship, and possibly more.  It doesn’t matter if you’re older, must be stable in all ways, a kind, and caring individual.  I’m honest, sincere, easygoing, and love to learn new things.  I also live the simple things in life: romance, hugs, shopping, traveling, love, etc.  I love laughing and making others laugh.  I love to have fun!! 
Let’s get to know one another.  Must be serious and willing to commit eventually.  I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
Dericka Clark #1274994
Release Date- 2013 (estimate)  
“I’m seeking a kind hearted friend who enjoys life and truly wants to be happy, who wants to love, and sincerely be loved for the person they are.  Outward appearances aren’t important, I feel they don’t lead to ultimate happiness, and are not a sustaining factor in a serious, long lasting, wonderful friendship. 
I’m a very positive person, I look on the bright side of every situation.  I love to smile, I love to live.  I know what I want in life, I’m human though, I’ve made some mistakes.  I will relocate.”
Tonya Green #X13769
Release Date- 01-2014
“I don’t really have a preference as to who or what kind of person responds.  I’m basically searching for friendship and a companion.  I’ve been incarcerated since 2005 and still have a few years left.  This is why I’m reaching out to you.  I’m hoping for someone who is not judgmental and wants to help a friend get through some rough times.  I am a little shy, but only until I get comfortable.  I love to laugh and have a very good sense of humor.  I love to learn new things and I’m very open minded.  Well, I’m supposed to keep this brief, so I hope I’ve sparked enough curiosity in you to write.”   
Roseann Castillo #1471779
Release Date- 10-5-2011 
“I’m seeking friendship from responsible and dependable people, men who enjoy life as much as I do.  I enjoy life so much that my adventurous ways caught up with me.  I do regret some things I have done, like leaving my family to be responsible for my responsibilities.  But I don’t regret all the things I have done.  It is who I am and I love the woman I have become.  Without my experiences, I wouldn’t be who I am today.  Life is beautiful and I will soon enjoy life once again.  Lots of laughs, enjoy!”  

Nikki Tarver #32952-077
Release Date- 6-2010 with good time, 2-22-2011 max date  
“Seeking a friendship with a special someone.  I’m open to relocate, must be able to travel to Ft. Worth for contact visits.  I’m single, and desire a distinguished gentleman that possesses a heart willing to grow fond for a lady of class, intelligence, and beauty.  One that will comfort and mentally stimulate you.  I’m a nonsmoker, nor do I indulge with drugs and alcohol.  Disease free.  Uninhibited, adventurous, affectionate, one that loves to please my mate. 
If you are consistent, commitment oriented, serious, honest, financially grounded, nonjudgmental, and morally supportive, please forward me a bio and a picture.” 
Alma Baltazar #W93812
Release Date- 10-2011
“Loveable, playful, feisty Latina with just the precise spices to brighten your life.  Sitting here with the end of my time nearing, waiting to fulfill dreams of my own true love.  I need the support of true friends and in this group of friends I know you’ll stand out amongst the crowd, catch my attention, and together we can grow and comfort one another.  It has been a long time since someone has romanticized me, pampered and spoiled me, or just proven to me that I’m all that they see when they close their eyes and feel from within.” 
Alisha Parker #1302616
Release Date- 2021, eligible for parole 1-2010 
“Unlikely hot girl:  A fallen star, who, like the rest of you, is trying to figure it all out and nail that elusive secret to happiness.  A fallen star that will soon shine again.  Many people mistake lust for love, when love is a state of being, not a state of feeling.  This is an invitation to come “be” with me, as my friend first.   I want a man who has his own, who shows me that he cares deeply about the trajectory of his own life and desires to be successful.  I need someone who can support my dreams and teach me new things and grow with me.  The man of my dreams may be a combination of everything.  Expectations get in the way, but my bar is set high on standards.  You must be trustworthy, honest, driven, family oriented, and loving.  Everything I am!”
Elena Turner #14405053
Release Date- 11-4-2010 
“Hi guys, my name is Elena.  I have long, beautiful black hair, and dark chocolate almond eyes.  I’m looking for postal love and support from around the world.  I am in need of good humor and friends to keep me laughing.  I love sporting events, and have an upbeat personality.  I am an animal and nature lover.  I like my friends soft and sincere, sweet and sexy.  If you fit this description, write me and we can share our hopes and dreams together.  Tell me about yourself.”   


Nate Washington- Scored in three straight and the Titans are going to have to throw to keep up with Indy.  If you got him, start him and if you don’t, get him.       
Vernon Davis- I initially had Vernon Davis down as a “Sit” this week.  But then I realized how bad the Falcons are against the run, how bad they are against the pass and also the fact that Davis has four red zone targets this season.  So, um, yeah, he might do pretty good tomorrow.  (And for those saying “But Vernon Davis doesn’t run the ball”, remember, the run sets up the pass.)
Glen Coffee- Remember the part where the Falcons can’t stop the run?  Couple that with the fact that the 49ers offense is 15th in rushing YPG and Coffee seems like a lock for close to twenty points.
Nate Burleson- Plays well at home, plus he gets Hasslebeck throwing to him again this week.
Mike Sims-Walker-  Seattle’s D is 17th in passing YPG and Sims-Walker seems to be Garrard’s favorite target at this point.  You have to go with the hot hand, and there have been few hotter than Sims-Walker these past few weeks.


Steve Smith (CAR)-  His value is tied entirely to Delhomme’s ability to find him.  Until his QB gets his act together, bench Smith unless better options escape you.

Marshawn Lynch, Fred Jackson-  The Bills offense stinks right now.  Sure, there’s a chance they could run up the score on a pretty bad Browns team, but knowing which of these guys will do the most damage is nigh impossible at this point.  Avoid starting either guy until a clear front runner emerges. 

Eli Manning-  He might post decent stats, but surely won’t go big enough to win your game for you.  Once they get up, and up they will get, they’re going to go to Jacobs and Bradshaw to milk the clock.  Plus, there is always the risk of a recurrence of the heel injury from last week.

Pats Defense-  Too much lost talent from last year to now, too many injuries to be a reliable start.  The worst part of this matchup is that they’re former offensive coordinator knows these guys well enough to exploit their weak spots and exploit McDaniel will. 

David Garrard-  I expect both defenses to struggle here, making a shootout quite likely.  Jacksonville passes well enough to take advantage of the matchup.  
Mohamed Massaquoi, Jerome Harrison-  The Browns have effectively re-started training camp, going with a new QB, WR and RB all in the past three weeks.  They need to see what these new/old toys can do, so expect them to be force fed the chance to suck as their predecessors once did. (Garbage points are points nonetheless.)
Jabar Gaffney- Facing his former team and backed by a coaching staff that knows the Pats very well, I like Gaffney as Orton’s safety net this week.

Brandon Pettigrew-  With Stafford nursing a knee injury, Duante Culpepper gets the start.  Rookie/Mediocre/Bad QB’s tend to use the Tight End as a crutch and Culpepper isn’t a Rookie or mediocre, so throw to Pettigrew he will.

Can He Score? is the fantasy blog at  It is written by a guy whose best served not trying to date women from Ivy League Universities (Currently 0-4, ouch!).

Me, In Real Life

I got a job today.  Now, don’t get too excited, because I am most assuredly not excited.  For 9 hours a day I’m going to be bugging people at a call center in Tustin, CA, selling “Vehicle Service Contracts”.  Not warranties, but “Vehicle Service Contracts”.  I know, you’re asking “But, does it work like a warranty?”  And the answer is yes, but I’m not supposed to tell you that (pretend like you skipped the first paragraph).

The environment, upon first, third and fifth viewing reminds me of the movie “Boiler Room”.  There are phones and computers everywhere, wall to wall, for three floors.  The guys all look like they’re former something or others trying to make a quick buck so they can pay for the car they can’t really afford and keep the wife satisfied.  ( A brief respite:  I call a former something or other a guy who looks like he hasn’t been in shape since the weekend after his last “big game” back in high school/college/semi-pro/European basketball, and is now working in a competition based environment so he can expend some of his mental energy and because he didn’t bother to learn any skills applicable to any other type of job.)  The men have beer guts, shiny shirts and Payless Shoes (I’ve bought five pair of Payless shoes this year, I know what I’m looking at), while the women have on too much makeup, slutty boots and tight jeans.  Mind you the dress code calls for “business casual”, not “crusing for casual sex”.   

My boss is a nice enough guy.  If the term “short, stocky, bald man” hadn’t been coined 15 years ago, I’d be in the process of using it for the first time right now in describing him.  He too is a failure in a position of last resort.  With his comedy career not taking off (He yearns for a “Superfinger” to call his own) the way he had hoped, he turned to the wonderful world of call center quality assurance.  He interviewed me on Friday and thoroughly impressed with my “polish” he offered me a spot in the training program not 30 seconds after I walked out of the door.  

I had no real expectations for what would take place in my first week.  Sure, I thought about what I’ve heard from friends and about what I’ve seen on TV, but I had no real clue what a call center job would actually entail.  As the room filled up with the other trainees I knew that god was providing me with the perfect opportunity.  Anytime I come across a cross section of personalities, races and education levels I get giddy inside.  There is something truly special about being able to watch people who have ZERO in common try and get along because they all lack the same thing: Money! (Now the poor klu klux man see that we’re all brothers not because things are the same, but because we lack the same color: that’s green.  Now that’s mean,
cant burn his cross cause he can’t afford the gasoline- Lupe Fiasco)

We had the rapper; the housewife; the author; the blonde from Colorado; the former European basketball player (You thought I was kidding about that one?); and the transplant from Texas with the skinny knees, huge gut, triangular toe nails and the legally blind husband who’s also a mechanic who stabbed himself in the stomach opening a package of frozen meat but has never hurt himself using an electric drill.

Some had trouble reading the script, some had issues with the written test and others just didn’t have the umph on the phone the bossman was looking for.  Out of the eleven that started the training only 7 made the cut.  I wasn’t particularly proud of being selected, I was more sorry for the ones who needed the job more than I did.  Yeah it only pays 8 dollars an hour and the commission is pretty shitty, but I have other chances, better opportunities waiting for me.  Some of the others didn’t.

This isn’t the greatest job ever invented, but it also isn’t the worst job I’ve ever had either.  I’m going to put my nose to the grindstone, bust it out and move on when the time calls.  Until then, enjoy any and everything I post regarding this place.  

If you can’t be here, you might as well come along for the ride.